I’m happy with joy.

This video chokes me up. The little girl is bouncing around praising and thanking God for healing her mouth. I’m sure that the pain she felt with whatever was wrong with her mouth is small in comparison to the suffering that she’ll experience in her lifetime. I have lessons to learn from this little girl.

I’ve experienced pain and suffering, physical, emotional, and spiritual, and I probably still haven’t gone through half of what some of you have felt. And there are a lot of times that I am so caught up in whatever I’m feeling that I forget about the healing the Lord has done in my life many a times before and I forget that redemption never runs dry. When I feel healed, refreshed, redeemed, I don’t bounce around a room screaming “THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD.” It’s just not what my brain is wired to do. Instead, I feel a sense of relief and I think, “finally, God. What took you so long?” And right there, that’s my sin-making me feel entitled to healing.

I feel entitled to healing. I feel like God should mend broken hearts, relationships in my life, or physical ailments in a timely manner (read: when I want them to be healed.) However, that’s just not how it works.

God never promised to heal in ways that I think I should be healed. Rather, God promised that I would suffer, that I would feel hurt and pain (John 16:33, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 4: 12, and so many more), but He also said He’s already taken care of it and there is so much glory to come (1 Peter 5:10, Romans 8:18, John 16:33). I forget that so, so often. God has already overcome the world. God chooses to redeem us, to redeem me from the pain and suffering and hurt that I’ve experienced. These experiences shouldn’t define me. These experiences should be stepping-stones to sanctification, and yet I so often forget that God heals not on the account of me or my actions, rather because He wants to. And that’s the good news-I don’t have to do anything to earn the favor of Jesus. To put it more bluntly, I CAN’T do anything to earn the favor of Jesus. All I need to do is trust that Jesus is who He says He is and I am who He says I am.

God heals. God heals broken hearts, broken bones, broken relationships, broken everything. And my response should be “THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD.” No healing is too big for God to handle. No pain is too small for God to not care about. We are deeply, deeply loved by a God who knows exactly what we need (even if it’s not what we think we need) and when we need it.

So moving forward, I pray my new perspective is “God, while I may not be feeling like you are going to have my back through this one, it doesn’t matter how I feel, Your Truth always stays the same. So thank you, God, and I’m going to be happy, oh so happy with joy through it all.”


What’s been making me laugh.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the office with a couple other interns working on a reflection that was due later that evening. In the midst of the quiet, I started laughing. I mean, I really started laughing, and then I started snorting. I do that when I laugh really, really hard. I was thinking of what I did the night before and remembered that I watched the funniest video I had ever seen in my life that day…Kristen Bell’s Sloth Meltdown. So of course I had to share it with my intern friends. And we all laughed together.

So this evening, I was looking at Pinterest and of course, I stumbled purposefully went into the ‘humor’ section and laughed a lot again tonight. Here are just a few of the funny finds of this evening.

Yep, definitely more awesome.


And now some words from Ryan…

Thanks, Ryan. I really appreciate how considerate you are.

Thanks for noticing how hard I work all day, Ryan.

I love to craft, Ryan. Just know all that glitter is from the card I made you today.

For my friends Laura & Tiffany. Ryan knows how much you love to make soap.

Ok, Ryan. I suppose.

“Can I have yo numba?? Can I have it?”

The title of this post is in honor of some of the LDI girls’ favorite youtube video/madTV skit that can be found here.

We are currently running full steam ahead in the 3rd week of LDI. It’s been awesome to say the least. I am loving getting to know the other 13 interns and start figuring out how all of our very distinct personalities will fit together this year.

We are in class for 54 hours this week reading through the first 8 chapters of the Gospel of Mark. Kinda like camping, this study retreat is INTENSE (in tents…get it? ahahahha). Just today, we spent 13.5 hours chatting about Jesus. So thankful for that. I’m also thankful for the knowledge that everyone brings to the table. I’m encouraged by the desire my fellow interns have to learn and understand and totally blessed by our rockstar of a teach-Shannon. She’s good. She’s real good and she has such patience with us. So yea, tomorrow’s Wednesday, so we get to spend another 13.5 hours in the book of Mark. I’m sure more laughter, confusion, spacing out, and a deeper understanding will come out of it.

But here is a recap in pictures the awesome of the last week or so:

Kim and I went to the new Toppers Pizza in Stadium Village at 8:00am for a 10:30am opening. It was definitely worth the wait as we were #48 and #49 out of 50 to get free food for a year!!
Brandon, Brittany and I met up with Elke at the Irish Fest on Harriet Island. Good food, good drinks, good music, good dancing, but even better friends. What more could I ask for?!
Miss Bekah (fellow intern) and I were just goofing off one day in the office because no one was around to play games with us! Our motto for this year is going to be: “LDIers-Always Hard at Work”.
Awk bless. Here’s a good one of us 🙂

 Awesome things to look forward to the rest of the week/weekend: learning more about Jesus in the Mark Retreat, hanging with the LDI girls, Laura, Rachel, and Naty on Saturday for something called “Backyard Olympics”, worshipping with the Hope Fam on Sunday, Ann coming home [!!!!], and talking about study abroad!!

Here’s to a week full of awesome. Ciao!

Role Model.

If I were truly being honest with myself, these questions would be hard to answer.

In what ways do I reflect Jesus? How to do I serve others-be it friends, family, strangers? Am I really laying down my rights and life? Do I view Jesus as my Savior, Lord, and role model?

I don’t want them to be hard to answer.
Here’s to the journey of figuring out what it means to reflect, serve, lay down my life, and view Jesus more completely.

Wait, you want me to memorize that?

If you were to ask me to memorize scripture not even two weeks ago I would have told you ‘yea, that sounds great, but I just don’t have the time.’ Well my friends, I have been asked to memorize a passage with a dear friend of mine and after a day of prayer about this, I felt a nudge and God saying, ‘well duh, obvi you should memorize my word.’

I am currently memorizing Matthew 6:25-34 to help force away my worry. Yes, it’s proving to be more difficult than I anticipated. I have many theories as to why I’m having a tough time with this, but those don’t matter. What matters is that I don’t quit until that piece of scripture is engraved on my heart in a manner that gives glory to God. I watched this video by John Piper (desiringgod.org) about a year ago and came across it today when I was looking up reasons to memorize scripture. He sums everything up very nicely in a short 4 minute video.

Reason number 7 is really resonating with me. Memorizing scripture “provides the strongest and sweetest words for ministry to those in need”. Yes. YES! It’s so true. I remember so many times in my short Christian journey that someone would sit me down and tell me the Gospel over and over again and fire scripture into my ears. I may not have understood every word, but I believed it to be real and true. Those words were strong, sweet, beautiful, reassuring, awe-ful, courageous, and full of pure and true love. I want these words in my mind all the time. What reason is resonating with you at the moment?

John 15:1-7 is a passage I will be meditating on (and who knows, maybe memorizing).

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunesso that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

source: desiringgod.org

All my single ladies…

As wedding season approaches is entirely in full swing, I find myself questioning my singleness. While it seems like all my friends are getting engaged or getting married, that is not true. The truth is the majority of my friends are single. I believe it can be a tough stage of life to be in, questioning the Lord ‘why me’ and all the self worth that we have tried so hard to have through Christ goes rushing down the drain. For me, some days are better than others. Some days I question, other days I listen, but the thing that is for certain is that the Lord is showing me that it’s okay to be single. Just a two examples:

1.) The Lord has shown me that we truly are people living in sinful flesh and if I were to rely on people fully, I would be fully disappointed time and time again. I must first seek Christ and rely on Him to experience true satisfaction in life.

2.) I am continually being refined by Christ and this is a good thing. The Lord is chipping away at my heart in order to expose it to truth and pure love, even after years of it being so hardened. Right now, I want to be formed into a Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be able to echo that woman. The Lord is working and I’m going to allow to let Him work.

Like I said, some days are great and some days aren’t so great, but the Lord knows my hearts desires and as Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I’m going to relish in the Lord and continue to seek fullness in Him. He knows what He’s doing, so until then I will wait.

source: http://www.P4CM.com