I’ll be the first one to tell you that I am not a reflective person. I don’t like to circle my thoughts around one specific topic or event. I think I just get bored really quickly. However, I will be the first one to tell you that I have a desire to be more reflective in my approach to doing life. The results of me sitting down and thinking through certain events or processing with a friend are certainly productive, and I can see how God uses these moments to allow me to grow in Christ-like character. Here are the results of one of my most recent processing sessions after my trip to Northern Ireland.
Northern Ireland is a restful place. It’s a place with little anxiety and stress. However, during my last trip, there were moments of reflection, particularly on my sin.
I get it, God. I’m a broken person; I am a sinner. I have a deep, deep need for a Savior and for redemption. I understand the Gospel. I know, God.
But do I, really? Do I really realize how broken I really am? When push comes to shove, would I introduce myself as a “sinner” to someone I just met? Do I understand really how deep my need for the Lord is?
For some reason, when I travel, I feel like I can just leave my sin at home in Minneapolis. Leaving the physical place where I “do life” detaches me from my sin there. I convince myself that I am immune to sin when I am on the road. It’s not that I consider myself “perfect” by any means, but rather, I just don’t see myself as broken. I don’t feel the weight of my sin nearly has much as I do at home.
This particular reflection came to me during one evening after a fun-filled day with friends. I remember lying in bed and feeling like a ton of bricks had hit me. Without giving too much detail, I had a couple interactions with people early that day that made me think more than once “Wow, this entire world is broken. There are sinners living here, not just in Minneapolis.”
For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
I understand how silly a thought that is. My head knows. It completely understands that this entire world is a fallen world and sin has entered it and will not be fully redeemed until Jesus returns. But it wasn’t until that moment that I truly felt my emptiness without Christ. I remember there being a pit in my stomach, tears falling from my eyes and praying to the Lord to forgive me for neglecting to understand my extreme need for a Lord and Savior, who is mighty to save. And there was grace received.