most days are today

i could smell the sunshine and taste the rain last time we ran into each other on the streets. you were leaving and i was staying. memories of yesterday filled the clouds. i looked up and saw that one time in the park. i looked up and saw that one time in your room. i looked up and they all vanished. you said you were leaving and i said i was staying. i couldn’t bear the thought of good-bye, then you said ‘good-bye’. the morning glory came and the evening sun fell all to nothing. they said it would get easier. they said i would get stronger. i said i was sick of feeling this way. i drowned myself in school, in work, in anything except you. i drowned myself is lies, in lust, in anything except thoughts of you. some days are better than others, most days aren’t. most days i miss you, your smile, your movement, you everything. bruised and batter from the fall of vulnerability. terrifying to step out on the limb with thoughts that i’d fall again. they tell me it will get easier. they tell me i would get stronger. most days will get better, but most days are today.

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